Wherein I am sarcastic and sassy and use gifs to express myself.
The other day I was sitting there thinking about all the things some YA heroines go through and how much they sacrifice themselves for others. I started criticising one heroine and thinking she was so selfish, and then I wondered, what kind of YA heroine would I be? So I compiled a list, and I found out I’d probably be the worst. Yup. Are you ready? 😉
If I got a superpower or gift, it would be more likely that I would use it for my own selfish gains (#realtalk). I might be willing to help for the greater good and all that later, but I’m just saying I’d be pretty darn busy having a great time using my superpowers and being awesome. I regret nothing.
If I found out I was a princess from some magical (or non-magical) place, I wouldn’t be all “oh? It can’t be me?” I’d be all “I frickin’ told you so now where’s my throne and my 10 course meal”.
I would not cut my hair short in a moment of dramatic self realisation because I like it long. And luscious. (Personal preference. Problem?)
I’d want my hair to change into some wacky colour or at least have streaks of a wacky colour, which would probably happen too too much exertion of my power, whatever that may be.
I need to eat. Like really often. And a lot. I’m not joking. I get feral without food.
I also need to sleep. But not so much, because I am a night owl. Hoot hoot.
I like naps. Mostly because I don’t sleep as much as I should, so we’d need to schedule those in between all my saving the world tasks and whatnot.
Can I bring my cat? Because I’ll surely miss her. And complain about it.
How many books could I bring in a rucksack whilst trying to save the earth from it’s impending doom? I’ll need one for each week, you know.
Will I have to choose? Books or food?
Will there be cupcakes?
Or any kind of cake?
I would freak out if I got scars on my face. Unless they were pretty scars, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Like “Oooh, that girl definitely just saved the earth and overthrew the baddies” kind of scar. A battle scar. Okay I actually want a scar. #thuglife
I would probably shout out “plot twist” way too often when things go wrong because I’m funny like that and my sense of humour is on point.
If I was the chosen one, I’d probably get a badge saying “chosen one” and wear it all the time. I’m not proud of myself. (Or am I?)
As I tend to find it difficult to get along really well with people, I’d be really picky with who I’d bring on my quest (okay I know there was no mention of a quest but it’s neither here nor there and maybe a girl just wants what a girl wants, you know?) #squad
Lastly and most importantly: I am a lazy slug